A Suite Stay

As a hospital employee when you or a family member has to stay overnight you can request the "suite".  It's much like a hotel suite.  There is the patient's room with bed/bath/television, etc. and then an adjoining room for a guest with separate bed/bath/television.  You also have the benefit of room service for both the patient and guest.

At 5:00 p.m. the day of my surgery the nurse came by and told me to go ahead and order my dinner.  He handed me a menu and said I was on a soft diet to make sure I could tolerate it and then if so by morning I would be on a regular diet.  No problem.  I looked over the  menu decided on chicken salad and mac and cheese.  I called room service and here is how the conversation went:

"I'd like to order chicken salad and macaroni and cheese please."

"Sorry that is not on your menu."

"I've got the menu in my hand and it is on there."

"No, you have bariatric soft diet and that is not on there."

"Oh, okay, may I get a bariatric soft menu then?"

"No, we don't have any."

"Then how can I order?"

"I can tell you there is grilled chicken on the menu."

"Really?  Grilled chicken is on a SOFT DIET menu but chicken salad is not?"

"Yes."

"OK, please send me grilled chicken and mac and cheese."

"Mac and cheese is not on the menu."

I'm so frustrated at this point.  "OK, just send me whatever is on the menu."

My sister arrived at 6:00 p.m. and my dinner still had not.  I gave her the guest menu and she settled on Salisbury steak, green beans and mashed potatoes.  I was having dinner envy for sure.

I called back to room service, asked where my dinner was and was assured it was on it's way.  They had a new girl.  Sara ordered her dinner and we waited.

Sara's meal arrived about 6:20 p.m. and mine was still a no show.  I called room service again.

"I'm still waiting on my meal."

"They said they brought it to you already."

"No, it never arrived."

They said they would be right up.  A few minutes later the dietary manager came in my room and apologized.  Great, but did you bring any food?  Nope, she just wanted to apologize and take my order.  At this point my nurse was so angry he changed my menu to regular, no more bariatric, no more soft.  He told me to go crazy and order whatever I wanted.  I really wanted chicken salad and mac and cheese.  (Side note:  my hospital has outstanding chicken salad).  OK, the dietary manager said she get my order straight away.

About 6:45 she arrived back with my dinner tray finally.  Again another apology for the delay, apparently my grilled chicken was delivered to the room next door.  Hope that patient enjoyed it!  More apologies as they were now out of mac and cheese...well of course because it's been an hour and 45 minutes since I ordered it.  As a substitute I was given asparagus.  How does asparagus substitute for mac and cheese?  I mean, potato salad, macaroni salad, pasta salad maybe, but asparagus.  I like asparagus, but I only like it when it still has some crunch.  When it's so soggy it looks like trees from the swamp land I'm not interested.

Oh well, the chicken salad was delicious.