Sunday, August 7, 2011

Why Skinny Girls are Bitchy

Ok, having experienced the diet of a "petite" woman this past week I know why skinny girls are so bitchy.  They are hungry.  If someone would just feed them, or they would eat, we'd all be happier.  I mean really, if there weren't any "skinny" girls there would be no way to measure against the "fat" girls.  Kinda like a grading curve in school, we just need a weight curve.  I mean curves = sexy body right, so that's my new argument.

Anyway...here's a normal diet as recommended by my nutrionist:
Breakfast
1/2 cup grits (no salt, no butter)
1 cup skim milk
1 1/4 cups watermelon

Lunch
3 oz Turkey
2 slices whole wheat bread
2 Tbsp light mayo
1 slice cheese
Light Yogurt
Cucumber slices
Raw broccoli

Dinner
3 oz hamburger patty, grilled/broiled (not fried)
1 cup potatos
celery, carrots, onions to season

My dog, Rosco, eats more than that in a day.  I realize most people don't eat as much as me but is it ironic that I am eating like a bird and live in Cardinal Lake, on Robin Lane, which is off Meadowlark Lane?  I think I need to move to a subdivison called Carb Village and live in the cul-de-sac off Bread Alley which connects to Pasta Avenue.  I know I'll live there one day...it's called Heaven.

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